When Japanese people talk to each other, or why they come back to Ishigaki Island

‘So, where are you from?’ the bartender asked me at my first bar in Ishigaki Island (a western island in Okinawa prefecture).

‘I’m from Kanagawa,’ I said.

‘Hey, this guy’s from Kanagawa,’ the bartender said to one of the two customers – a guy and a girl – at the bar.

‘Really? Whereabouts?’ the guy said.

‘Isn’t that where there are a lot of seedy people?’ the girl said.

Before I knew it, everyone was in the conversation.


Similar things happened at the next bar. People talked to me and even shared food with me.

This came as a surprise to me. I’d never experienced this level of friendliness in Tokyo during my 20 years of living around there. I’d always thought that Japanese people simply didn’t talk to each other. The friendliest people I’d known in Tokyo were either not Japanese or were those who hung out with non-Japanese people. When it came to a purely Japanese environment, strangers didn’t talk to each other.


The next day, I ended up going out with three random Japanese people I’d just met.

How did it happen? I met a girl from Shiga prefecture at the first venue. She said she was going to another place where they also played live music. I went there with her, and she was meeting her friend from Osaka, who’d invited a guy from Shizuoka she had just met the day before.

After the show, the musician came to talk to us. He was called Toshiki. He was born and raised there and a very good singer.

‘Have you been here before?’ Toshiki said.

‘Yeah, I was hoping to see this musician, but apparently he was away. He should be back now,’ the Shiga girl said.

‘Oh, he’s actually my sensei. I didn’t know he was back,’ he said.

‘Really? Shouldn’t you be informed about that?’ the girl asked.

They bonded because of the people they both knew.

‘So, I haven’t asked your names have I?’ Toshiki said to us.

We told him our names. When he learnt the Osaka girl’s name, he said, ‘So you are that girl. I’ve heard a lot about you!’

‘Really? How come I’m that famous?’ the Osaka girl asked.

‘Well, I know these people and those people, and they all talk about you,’ he said.

‘I hope people are not saying bad things about me,’ she said.

They were networking.

‘Anyway, I should be going. I work as a bartender at a nearby bar,’ Toshiki said.

‘What bar?’ the Shizuoka guy asked.

‘It’s called Eden,’ Toshiki said.

‘I’d like to come sometime. Where’s that?’ the guy said.

‘It’s just around the corner. You go to Ooritouri and it’s on the left,’ Toshiki said. Then he left.


When we entered Eden, Toshiki was genuinely surprised.

‘Wow, you guys actually came! I didn’t think you were… Well, come and have a seat! What would you like to drink?’ he said.

We weren’t sure what to drink.

‘How about a bottle of Awamori (Okinawan spirit)? The listed price is 3,000 yen (about $30) but I can make it 2,000 yen for you,’ he said.

Then he joined us. We talked, played darts and sang karaoke together.

‘I’m supposed to be working but this doesn’t feel like work at all! I’m just having fun,’ he said.


Most of the Japanese people I met on Ishigaki Island had already been there several times. They kept coming back. Some of them were thinking of living there or already lived there.

Before, I didn’t understand why so many people were in love with that island, but I understand now. It’s not just breathtaking beaches and coral reefs. It’s also the connection with people. Once you visit the island, you make a lot of friends. Next time you go there, you know you will see them again. I think this kind of relationship is hard to find in Tokyo or other major cities in Japan.


On my way back to Tokyo, I was already thinking that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to come back to Ishigaki Island.

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41 thoughts on “When Japanese people talk to each other, or why they come back to Ishigaki Island

  1. Arran

    It would be interesting to know why there was such a difference between the people you encountered on Ishigaki and people in Tokyo.

    Perhaps because there are fewer people in the rural areas so they are more likely to all know each other?

    1. yuta Post author

      Many people I met in Ishugaki were from somewhere else in mainland Japan, so there was a sense of community there. Also, I think people in rural areas tend to be friendlier, like you said.

  2. Jess

    Sounds like a good place to make great friends. Im a little biased since I was born and raised in small towns so i tend to believe that rural communities are more humble and friendly than larger ones.

  3. Jess

    Was also told growing up..rural areas tend to speak at a slower pace because everything is slow paced in the country. No rushing about.. just slow and peaceful lol

  4. Baker ST

    I really like your article. It’s evident that you have a lot knowledge on this topic. Your points are well made and relatable. Thanks for writing engaging and interesting material.

  5. nassim

    Thank you very much for the information!

    est vraiment instructif et je serai reconnaissant si vous continuez à écrire à l'avenir.

  6. Michael E Kerpan

    My wife and I have wound up "partying" (or at least chatting amiably) with Japanese strangers in both Kyushu (Fukuoka and Nagasaki) and Tohoku. This involved people older than us (70s-80s) and younger (30s-40s). Most spoke little more English than we spoke Japanese. We also had wonderful interactions with restaurant staff (in out of the way places — but even in Kyoto and Tokyo). We have spent over 3 months in Japan (over the course of 3 trips) and have had only one (very brief) unpleasant incident (in a crowd watching an event in Asakusa).

    If Ishigaki is even more friendly than what we have experienced so far, we might not be able to leave. (Isn't Ishigaki featured in the Non non biyori movie?)


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